[the] Poet Demas is dead

I'm thinking too much lately and the only medicine I had to keep me from doing so no longer has a phone. It saddens me really. I'm beginning to wonder if Miranda's question was more than that. Maybe it was a suggestion. She asked me if I was going to move on or wait for Jeanna. I don't know really what I should do. I mean, I love Jeanna and I can actually use that word, love, and mean it for the first time in my life. I want nothing from it, nothing but that one word. But not moving means I'm idle and I hate not having any progression. I like to think that I could grow into something more and the more I put my life on hold the more my life goes astray. My future wasn't in clear vision, but at least I knew that it would've been nice to have her around...the thought of marriage slipped into my mind and the whole sole mate propaganda suddenly made sense. I'm afraid really that if I move on, all of that vanishes. I don't really want to move on because I fear that I can no longer tolerate people anymore. I mean, I'm afraid if I do make a connection with someone else, it would turn out false and be another Mari, or worse, Jessica. I tire of their smoke and mirror acts, creating an illusion of being a perfect virgin or person and then slip me into those dark canverns that I visited too many times already.

 

( take a bow with me.... )

I'm looking into downloading new music, maybe even buy a few cds...all I need to know is a list of foregin music....and like I said the first time, I don't want Latin break out poppy sensations or Rammstein....so if you know odd music not of this country or language then send me a few names and song titles, por favor?
thank you....

I love Bob Dylan...I've been listening to his song lately, the only one I have, sadly, but I search, my mother used to like him, but we don't have any of his records...so binx if you read this download bob dylan for me....Another thing I've notice is that when I write short stories, I name them after the song that inspired them....for instance, the last short story I wrote was called "Things Have Changed" the ones I wrote last year were "Spade," "Last Day," and I forget the other one, but I didn't care much for it....I think I'm going to compile them into a collection called Songbook...or just try to sell the, whichever seems like something I'd do... 

 

( People are crazy and times are strange, I'm locked in tight, I'm out of range, I used care, but things have changed.... )

 

( pics i found... )

there is no hope....



( the poems.... )